my painful childhood

My Life Back in Indonesia

In 2012 after 3 years in Malaysia my contract completed, I moved back to Indonesia. I went to Jakarta and stayed with my Auntie and her family. My one niece has grown quite a bit while I have been gone and is now bigger than me and there is a new niece in the family. I love them very much as I love my whole family. It is so good to see everyone again. I flew back to my village to see my grandparents and other family members; my auntie and uncle and my mother. My village has not changed. Everyone still struggles to get water and electricity. They do farming to earn just enough for food. It is sad to see them struggle with their life, but it is all they know. The families are growing now as my aunt has three children and my uncle has two. My grandparents are getting older and it is sad for me to see that their life continues to be going to the field to collect grass and trying to help their children best that they are able. My family is grateful that I have been helping my grandparents financially and I feel good that I am able to help. After one month in the village I explain that I am going to Jakarta to find work. My grandparents are sad to see me go as they wanted me to stay and they regret they were mean to me when I was little. I have no hard feelings towards them and tell them everything is ok. I really love my family and feel bad that I cannot help them more. I made an offer to my aunt and uncle that I would take them to Jakarta and find work and support them. Also, I would pay their tuition to get training, so they could get better jobs, but they refuse and said they just want to be farmers in the village and take care of the grandparents. Sometimes people are just afraid to try something new and just want to stay with what they know even if there are better options. I could not persuade them to explore something new, but I love them just the same. Once I return to Jakarta I find a job as a property agent. I receive a small base salary and commission if I sell an apartment or house. It is hard to find customers, but I do make sales and earn money. Although it is difficult to make a good income I do not worry because the person that helped me with my schooling is always there. BaPak Joe always stays in touch with me and is ready to help if I need anything. I don’t depend on him though as I am always able to find work and take care of myself. I find that I am getting better and better in property sales and I then decide to open a beauty salon. I open a shop in an apartment complex in Jakarta and sign a contract for two years. Initially, I have many customers and very good employees. However, after one year a large beauty salon and spa opens close by and they have much better and more equipment than I have, and I lose many customers to the competition. My business suffered and when my renewal contract came up I did not renew and many of my employees went to work for the other salon. I could not compete effectively as I did not have the expensive equipment to provide quality facials. After my salon business closed my friend and I opened a guest house in Gili Island and the business there was very good. I did not like traveling to Gili Island however. It is a long trip. I had to fly from Jakarta to Lombok which is about a 2-hour flight, then drive to Gili Island Harbor which took 4-hours and then take a ferry for about 30 minutes or 15 minutes by private boat. I once tried going to Gili Island from Bali, but the boat ride is over 2-hours by ferry and with bad weather and heavy waves I become very seasick. The business there was very good until many hotels came to the island and other guest houses. These were all closer to the beach and hurt our business quite a bit. I was however, able to save money to pay for my travels around Asia until my passport was completely full of immigration stamps. The other good thing about being back in Jakarta was I had many friends with which to socialize. Usually every Friday night we went to have fun. We would often start at someplace like the Sky Bar at the BCA Tower by Grand Indonesia and then continue to Bats Bar at the Shangri-La Hotel as the DJ was very good. Other times we would go to C’Jaz at the Mulia Hotel in Senayan where the young ladies always hang out. Friday nights were a lot of fun with my friends. I also have friends that work in the Mining Industry which is very big in Indonesia. I went to Kalimantan where a lot of the mining takes place to see what it looks like. I also went to the Curuk Pahu Forest and the Coal Place. The trips from Balik Papan to the coal mining locations by helicopter was really amazing but also scary. This saved a lot of time but there had been several helicopter accidents in the forests and many times the bodies could not be found so the rides were always a bit scary.I also tried selling insurance. I had my initial training and passed my licensing test to become an agent. I was very excited as the training was very good and it seemed easy. The commissions seemed very good as well. But what I discovered was it was very hard to find customers and make the sale of Life Insurance. There was so much rejection I became discouraged and quit. I decided it was better for me to focus on property sales.

My Learnings from my time back in Indonesia While it was difficult to leave Kuala Lumpur because I enjoyed my job and missed my friends it was good to return to see my family. I found that people around you can give you motivation. I hated to see my family in the village struggle, but it taught me that I never wanted to go back to that life. It motivated me to try new things to make money and be self-sufficient. I also discovered that it is ok to fail. If you never try something you fail before you even start. Many successful people in life have tried many things and failed but they kept trying and finally succeeded. I am not afraid of failing but I am afraid of not being able to take care of myself, so I keep trying and I know I will find the secret to success. The other thing I have learned is riches are not only counted in how much money you have but also in how close you are with your friends and family. It has been proven through studies that people who have close ties with their family and good relationships with their friends enjoy better health and live longer and I truly believe this. I also exercise regularly, don’t drink much alcohol and don’t smoke. You can replace money if it is lost but you can never replace your health. A healthy body also leads to a healthy mind and provides you with the energy you need to achieve great things.

childhood, inspiration, kehidupan, love, motivation, my painful childhood, truestory

Learning’s from my earliest.

The Story of my Childhood     #books #longreads #truestory #childhood #motivation #life I was born in a small village called Sengon Kerep. I was born without a father as my mother and father married with ‘Kawin Lari’ which means married without an agreement. My mother is Javanese while my father is Padang (Sumatra Barat). Every man who is Padang should marry only Padang woman. No other ethnicity. However, because they love each other they married in secret. They lived in Jakarta, the capitol of Indonesia and planned on having a wonderful life. Unfortunately, tragedy struck, when my mother was four months pregnant with me. My father was killed in a terrible motorbike accident.My mother was all alone in Jakarta with no one to help her. Word got back to my village about what had happened, and my grandparents were very angry as my mother had no job and no way to take care of a baby. My grandparents could not help as they had no money. They only grew rice and vegetables for their food. My grandparents borrowed jewelry from a neighbor to sell in order to buy tickets to Jakarta to go get my mother and bring her home to the village. A neighbor and my grandparents went to Jakarta to get my mother and brought her back. It is very hard to get my village. It was a one-hour motorbike ride from the train station to Sengon Kerep. My mother and the family were so very sad what had happened and the difficult situation for my mother and everyone. Finally, I was born and everyone in the family was very happy. Unfortunately, in the small village most people were speaking negatively about my mother having a baby but no husband. It was a very difficult time for her and my family. When I was 5 months old my mother decided to go back to Jakarta to find work. She asked my grandparents to raise me and she would send money back to the village for my expenses.It was a confusing time for me as a little girl. My mother not with me and my grandparents taking care of me. I became a naughty little girl when I was around 4 or 5 years old. Always climbing the mango and guava trees. I also was rude and talk bad to people. I had a bad temper and cry when I don’t like something. When I was 6 years old my grandmother registered me in pre-school and paid my tuition. The problem I experienced was that the other children did not like me and teased me because I had no father. Their parents said I was ‘Anak Haram’ which, in Muslim, means born without father. After school I would always cry and be angry with my mother for having a child without a husband. I asked my family why my mother just not kill me, so all these bad things would not happen to me. To make matters worse, my grandparents tell me I have no father and even no mother as she left me and went away. This made me so angry and resentful to my mother. No one in the village really likes me and this makes my life so bad when I am young.When I am 9 years old I have to wake up at 4am and walk 2km to a small creek with a 15-liter bottle. I have to brush my teeth and bath in the creek. Then fill the large water bottle and carry back home on my back for the family to have water for the day. It was a very difficult time to be a child in a small village with little water and electricity and little food. The villagers just grow rice and maybe have a couple of cows or goats for their investment. No one makes any money, just cut trees or try to sell what they grow to make a little money.So, when I am old enough my grandparents and auntie teach me how to fetch water from the creek and also how to cut the grass for the cows and the goats. Also, they teach me how to plant the rice paddy and how to take care of it. The garden is very far from the house, so it takes time to go there and the road is bad. I also have to take care of things at home while doing my other chores. I began working hard helping my family when I am just 6 years old. I was also physically abused by my grandparents and auntie when I made mistakes or didn’t listen.Here is a list of my chores every day when I am little and lived in the village:

  • Wake up and bring 15-liter water from the creek
  • Boil water and help prepare breakfast
  • Wash dishes
  • Go to school
  • Back from school and help prepare lunch
  • Fill the water tank from the creek (could be 10 x 15-liter bottles). Back and forth from the creek with the water on my back… or…
  • Cut the grass in the garden which is 2km from the house to feed the cows …or…
  • Separate the padi to become white rice… or…
  • Cut the trees to sell as fire wood and put on my back and walk 3km’s to the village to sell…or…
  • Packing up the banana leaf or spinach and take 3km’s to the store to trade for money
  • Cook dinner and wash the dishes
  • Then sleep and start over next day

This was my daily activity when I was young. Not the way you would like your life to start. My next disappointment was when I was ready to go to Junior High School. My grandparents had no money to send me and even though my mother promised, she never sent money back to the village for my expenses. During this time my grandparents became very angry with me and would hit me with the small branches from the tree. My auntie would also hit me when she was angry. I was just 10 years old when I thought, ‘I want to be grown up now and get a job and make money and move to the USA. That was my dream from an early age. Although my family treated me badly, they are basically good people. They are very religious and good to their neighbors. We always go to the Catholic church and never miss going. I always pray to the Lord to hear my prayers and help me with my life and my dream for the future.After Primary school my grandparents decide I should not go back to school and should get a job as a maid. I was fine to do that if there was an opportunity. Shortly after that I was offered a job to be a nanny for the school teacher’s children. Right before starting my Auntie in Jakarta disagreed with me working and wanted me to continue my education. She offered to pay my expenses for Junior High School. A week later my grandparents registered me for school and I was accepted. I was very thankful to my auntie and Jesus for helping me with my education.I am happy to be in school, but my school is Muslim, not Catholic. I must follow their rules and become Muslim during my study. I have to wear Hijab uniform and follow their teachings for my 3 years there. I learned how to read in Arabic/Quran language. I memorize some of the Quran content and I know how to pray/shalat. I am happy that I graduated Junior High School in SMP Muhammadiyah Sampang Gedangsari Gunungkidul. This was in 2002 but I am still struggling to continue my education as my Grandparents have no money and there is no one to take me to the school.In August 2002 when I finish my Junior High School my Auntie in Jakarta ask me to come to Jakarta to help her with her family and taking care of my niece. She sent me the money and I went to Jakarta. My Auntie is living with her In-Laws and she told me she cannot take me to a school as she is busy being a housewife and taking care of her Mother-in-Law who had a stroke. I am ok to not attend High School as I want to work but my Auntie does not approve as she thinks I am too young. I attend church every Sunday with my Auntie’s family and I pray every day for help in going to school or finding a job. During this time, I am helping the family and taking care of my niece.In 2003 I met a friend through church and she asked why I am not going to school. She explained I could go to the private packet C which is the same as High School but not expensive and the classes are in the evening. Finally, after one year I told my Auntie I wanted to go to school and again she told me she had no money or any way to take me to school. I told her my friend would help me to register and she would help me find donations from other people to pay my tuition.Now I have managed to go back to school and my classes are from 6-9pm. This is good as it allows me to help my family during the day. I make many friends at the school and most are working and going to school at the same time. Every week I meet with my friend from the church who is studying at the Catholic University of Jakarta. She tells me that her university has a program to partner with companies in Indonesia where they seek their financial support to assist low income children who are trying to get an education.In 2004 there is an insurance company that is interested in helping with a donation. My friend spoke with the leader of the company and he is very generous and would like to help financially but he wants to meet the person and their family. My friend introduced me to the insurance company executive and he also flew to meet my family in the village. Bapak Joe met with my family and my grandparents in my small village (unfortunately I have no photos to share as I didn’t expect to be sharing my story). Bapak joe was such a kind man and he helped my family with money during his visit. They were so thankful.After the visit he was very happy to help me with my expenses and even moved me to a regular school and I didn’t have to worry about the payments. He paid all my expenses. I was so thankful to Jesus that he sent my friend and Bapak Joe to my life to help me. In 2006 I graduated from High School in Jakarta.In 2006 I applied for work with a Travel Agent in Jakarta. I worked for 3 months in the Hotel Bintang Raden Shaleh. After that I said I was very interested in work in Batam Island.  And I flew to Batam and I work in the Hotel in housekeeping Department. I was in training for a month and then I worked there until 2007.At this point my life was good as I was able to send money to my village to help my family. I still do not speak with my mother though. When I was in Jakarta we met but we would fight and argue as I was still very angry that she never took care of me or supported me financially. Bapak Joe still stayed in contact with me to see how I am doing through email and he would help me financially at times if I needed help. This was in 2007.At the end of 2007 I went to Bintan Island and was looking for work and found it and  I was trained and worked in a 5-star hotel in Bintan from 2007-2008. In 2008 I had a boyfriend that worked in the hotel as well. Although I was just 22 years old we decided to get married. After just a few months of marriage my company sent me to work overseas. We were working in different countries and were not able to see each other. Unfortunately, my husband cheated on me during this period as I was able to see his emails and Facebook messages. This was very painful, and we separated and divorced shortly after I found out. So, in 2009 I am free and single again, so I extend my contract to continue working in another country till 2012.

Learnings from my Childhood as I reflect on my early years I faced many challenges and difficulties. It would be easy to blame my circumstances on just being born to the wrong person at the wrong time and in the wrong place. But what do you learn from that…nothing. These were things I had no control over. I struggled as a child with the life that God gave me, and I resented who I was, but I truly believe that God will never give you a challenge that you cannot handle. Especially if you keep your faith and focus on making tomorrow better than yesterday. In many ways I was lucky that good people came into my life, but I am proud that I took advantage of the opportunities when they presented themselves. What I would say to anyone facing challenges in their life is NEVER give up! Don’t worry about the things you have no control over and focus on the things you can influence. Have a dream and every day think about your dream and things you can do to make your dream happen. I still face many challenges in my life as it is not perfect, but I have confidence that with a strong faith in the Lord, praying daily for guidance and having a plan to achieve my dream anything and everything is possible. I will focus on what things I control and not worry about the things that I don’t.

I will share more about Peri Will in my next blog…

my painful childhood

My Road to Happiness

Welcome to my Site.

My name is Peri Will (putri widiyarti) and I want to share with you my life experience, my background…. My hopes… My frustrations and my dreams for the future.I am an Indonesian born in a small village part of Yogyakarta. I hope my story will motivate and inspire you to focus on your goals and stay committed to achieving everything you desire regardless to how difficult the path you choose.We have no guarantees in life what separate happiness from sadness or success and failure is our desire to never give up.Here is a photo of family and friends from my village. On the far left is my auntie holding her son. Directly behind her is her daughter and next to them in the purple is my grandmother. The place call TAMAN MARIA GIRI WENING …..